Perhaps you're combining your possessions and can't part with your smaller flat-screen TV. Or maybe you need a little background noise to fall asleep. No matter the reason, many couples ask themselves: Should we put a TV in our bedroom? We've all heard it's the kiss of death to a couple's sex life and cuddle time. So if you're wavering on their decorating decision, we turned to experts to find out if the rumors are true.
"The bed should be reserved for two things: intimacy and sleep," Laurel House, dating coach and author of Screwing The Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love, states simply. "Add a TV and suddenly you are creating a distraction." And with a digital distraction, you risk getting "absorbed in external material at the expense of paying attention to each other," explains Ursula Ofman, New York City-based sex therapist.
Even if you need the TV to conk out, "allowing yourself to get so tired that you can barely click off the remote leaves little chance that you'll reach over to your partner for some affection," House reasons. "Yes, snuggling watching a movie can definitely be romantic. But do that on the sofa. If things heat up, move the action to the bedroom where you can really get into it."
A TV in the bedroom can create a bedtime routine with no room for sex. "It's too easy to use the TV as an excuse and an escape," House says. "You get in bed and instead of tiring each other out, you settle into your favorite shows, or simply whatever is on." Plus, a bedroom TV can cause arguments you wouldn't otherwise have, House points out, and that's definitely destructive to your sex life. "If one of you wants to watch TV longer or louder while the other wants to sleep, the annoyance may lead to resentment and anger," she explains.
If you decide you still want a TV in your bedroom, your best bet is setting some viewing ground rules. When you set those rules, a "bedroom TV it can actually be a good thing in the relationship," says House. "That is if you only watch movies in bed on in-bed date nights, paired with a bottle of wine and cheese or chocolate. But again, you need to both agree with what you're watching. If one person isn't into it, it's not happening."